Culinary Crap

Chicken with Tarragon-Mushroom sauce, dill mashed potatoes, and garlic roasted white and green asparagus

2009-03-01T20:35:00.000-08:00

Hi!

It's been ages since I've posted anything in this blog; I've been pretty lazy at keeping track of things I've been making, but I suppose now is a better time than ever.

Tonight I'll be posting what I made for dinner. Woo hoo exciting, isn't it? But yes, it was very yummy and once again without a recipe, but I did something different this time; I actually wrote down the ingredients that I used, and estimated proportions.

Here we go!

Chicken With Tarragon-Mushroom Sauce (and with zucchini too, for good measure)

1/2 white onion, minced
2 small zucchini, cut in half length-wise and sliced thin
1 small jar of artichoke hearts, in water, not oil
8 oz. fresh mushrooms of choice (white, crimini, whatever floats your boat)
1/3 cup white wine (I used Chardonnay)
1 lemon, juiced
1/4 cup chopped tarragon (FRESH, I must insist upon this, because if you use 1/4 cup of DRIED tarragon this will taste absolutely disgusting and you should not be using dried herbs anyway)
4 skinned and de-boned chicken breasts
2 tablespoons of real butter (margarine is not butter no matter what they tell you)
salt
pepper

Mise en plas:
Chop your onion, chop the zucchini, slice the mushrooms, and drain the artichoke hearts. If you want more artichoke heart love to go around around, the I would highly suggest you cut the artichoke hearts in half, that way everyone gets artichoke hearts.
Yay for artichoke hearts!

ANYWAY.

So you got that all set up. No, what you have prepared does not need to look like the image to your left. In fact, the image to your left is a total set-up and I am a fraud for it, because when I'm cooking, I generally have the entire kitchen in chaos and a mess, so this was definitely a posed picture.

But it looks good right? I know.

So, take your chicken breasts. Pat them dry (very importante!), then season well on each side with salt and pepper.

In a big-ass skillet, heat it over med-high heat and spray with cooking spray (I use olive + canola oil in one of those spray-dispenser things because I have to watch my figure, ish). When it's hot but not smoking, add the chopped onion, and saute' for a couple of minutes or until it's translucent. At this point, add the mushrooms and zucchini and saute' for a couple of more minutes until it's kind of cooked but not cooked-cooked. Then add the wine. Let it come to a boil, turn the heat down a bit, and cook a little longer until the wine evaporates because god forbid someone gets drunk off of this.

Take the veggies out of the pan and set aside and keep warm (just throw some foil over them in a bowl or something).

Re-oil your pan and re-heat over medium-high. Add the chicken breasts, and cook on each side for about 4 minutes, or until done but not burned and dried and disgusting like a lot of places would do in a restaurant those bastards.

Take the chicken out and put on a plate and cover those with foil (Reynolds will love you after this is all done and they should give you money)

Back in the pan the veggies go! To this, on medium heat, add the butter, stir this well until the butter melts. Turn off the heat and add the artichoke hearts, lemon juice, tarragon, and a bit more salt and pepper to taste. If you want. Drink the rest of the wine.

Un-foil the chicken and put this mixture over the chicken and voila! You have food.

And we need sides!
To go with this I made...

Garlic-roasted white+green asparagus

1 bundle of green asparagus
1 bundle of white asparagus (just pay for it and shut up)
2 TBSP olive oil
sea salt
fresh cracked black pepper
4 cloves garlic, finely minced

Snap off the wooden ends of the asparagus (do I need to tell you how to do this? ok, so basically, you grab each stalk of asparagus and bend, and it should snap at the point where it needs to and you want to throw the bottom ends away because it is like eating wood string or something if you eat them).

Turn the oven to a blazing hot 450F. Cut the asparagus in half. (not length-wise, that would just be stupid). Line a cookie sheet with foil (HI REYNOLDS!) and put 1 TBSP of the olive oil on there and make sure it coats every last inch. Throw the asparagus in a bowl and toss over them the garlic, a good few dashes of salt, and lots of black pepper depending on your taste. Throw this mix onto the cookie sheet and put this in the over for about 15 minutes, checking every so often to mix them around a bit so they are evenly cooked and browned.

There.

Last but not least is that we know every balanced meal (ha ha ha!) has a starch, thus I made mashed potatoes with fresh dill and sour cream!

Real damn simple.

Mashed Potatoes with Dill 'n Sour Cream (or plain yogurt because it's the same stupid thing)

Enough red potatoes for 4 people
1 8 oz. container sour cream, light sour cream, or plain yogurt
1/4 cup (give or take) fresh dill, chopped
salt
pepper

Cut the potatoes in half, boil til you can stick a fork in them with ease but not where they are falling apart pieces of mush.
Mash with the skins on, to your liking. I like the potatoes left with some chunks in them but that's my weird self.
Throw in the sour cream/yogurt, etc, and dill. Mix well. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
Yay mashed potatoes. Everyone likes mashed potatoes. If you do not like mashed potatoes you are an asshole.

And here's the plate:

The Emerald cocktail

2008-10-05T13:04:00.000-07:00

This I came up with last night. It's neon-green in color, thanks to the mix of Blue Curacao and mango juice! "Green Mango" didn't sound very appealing, but it is emerald green (that, yes, you could say it's neon green, depending on the lighting) and it's very mango-orange-y.

No muddling of limes or lemons or oranges this time, but you'll still need your basic tools:

Shaker
Strainer

For the consumable portion, you'll need:

2 parts Stoli vodka (or other good vodka - I used plain old Stoli, no flavorings, but you could experiment)
2 parts mango juice / nectar
1 part Cointreau
1/2 part of Blue Curacao
Splash of Sprite / 7-up

Fill your shaker with ice. Add in a 2-count of vodka, 2-count of mango juice, 1-count of Cointreau, throw in the Blue Curacao, and fill the rest with the soda.
Your shaker should be about 3/4 full.

Mix the ingredients well, shaking until the shaker is almost too cold to hold anymore, and strain into a pretty-looking glass.
I used a clear class Martini glass.

Easy fresh tomato 'n basil soup!

2008-10-02T14:33:00.001-07:00

Tomato and Basil Soup...

Okay, so there are a billion and one variations on how to make this. You can get the stuff in a CAN by (insert soup manufacturer here) or you can spend a little more time making it yourself and leave out the MSG and all the preservatives and fake tomatoes and bullshit that's thrown into the canned crap. Even the canned "organic" soup doesn't cut it, sorry...

Fresh is best.

(Repeat as mantra, do it.)

Now, when I made this, like most things, I didn't measure. This is kind of based on a guess of what I used, and my guesses are generally (I'd say 99.99999% of the time) accurate.
I think measuring is for suckers :p No, actually, it's just about having a keen eye. Try it, you can do it!

You shall need:

4 medium tomatoes
3 medium onions (reds or yellows are the best here)
1 16 oz. can of chopped plum tomatoes
3 cloves of garlic
1 tablespoon dried basil
1/2 lemon
balsamic vinegar
extra-virgin olive oil
freshly ground black pepper
sea salt
2 cups broth (veggie or beef or chicken or whatever broth)
grated Parmesan cheese
fresh basil

Take 4 medium tomatoes (I suspect Roma would be best but I just had typical 'on-the-vine' tomatoes), 2 small red onions, and 2 humongous cloves of garlic (not entire bulbs! cloves!).

Smash up the garlic and roughly chop it

Peel and slice the onions into rings, and leave the tomatoes untouched.
Next, throw them all together in a roasting pan, put some olive oil on top, some sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, and a few splashes of good balsamic vinegar and mix it all together.
(Alternatively, you could throw all these ingredients into a large zip-lock bag, or other plastic bag without holes in it and shake it around a bit).
Roast on a high heat (say, 400F - 425F) in the oven for 15-20 minutes, stirring ever so often, and until the tomatoes start peeling a bit and the onions and garlic smell good, not burnt.

Chop up another onion, smash and dice another clove of garlic, and heat a bit of olive oil over medium heat in a pot. A soup pot preferably, because this is where your final product will end up. When the oil's hot, add the garlic and onion and about a tablespoon of dried basil.
Saute for a while until the onion's translucent and lower the heat a bit.
Take the onions and garlic you roasted earlier and chop them up into itty bitty pieces.
Add those and the roasted tomatoes to the pan. Smash them up with a fork or spoon or masher til it's all pulpy and messy. if there's any bit chunks take them out and chop them up.
Add about 1/2 a lemon's worth of lemon juice (meaning, take 1/2 a lemon and squeeze the juice out of it).

Add around 2 cups veggie or chicken or beef stock (if you didn't make your own and you're using canned, use the freshest and one without any additives!) and a can (16 oz.) of chopped plum tomatoes.

Stir it all together and bring to a boil and then let it simmer with the lid on for about 20 minutes.

Then put in a bowl and put in a lot of torn up fresh basil leaves and put grated Parmesan cheese on top and then eat!

Also great served with good crusty bread.

The "trecolori" cocktail. It's pretty!

2008-09-28T06:25:00.000-07:00

In celebration of the Festa Italiana that is happening this weekend up in Seattle, I created a new pseudo martini tonight at my bartending gig that is really pretty, really tasty, and really colorful!

I've really been interested in making "layered" drinks as of late - that is, where the colors of the liquors/juice don't mix together but instead form a sort of stripe-thing going on in the glass.

I'll keep this one short and sweet, but make this one proper! And cin cin!

Utentils you'll need:

Shaker
Strainer (or a solid pint glass)
A Steady Hand

Ingredients you'll need:

2 parts Midori Melon Liqueur
1 part Stolichnaya Citrus vodka
Ice
7-up or Sprite
Grenadine

In your shaker, fill with ice. Add the 2 parts of Midori and 1 part Stoli. By "parts" I mean, pour however heavy you'd like, but in proportion 2-1 as above. It should come up about 2/3 full in the shaker.
Fill to about 1" from the top with Sprite or 7-up.
Shake vigorously, with a pint glass popped over the top, or shake well with a strainer over the top.

Strain into a martini glass or chimney glass. Grab the grenadine, and carefully pour in about 1/2 oz. into the glass.

Bottom of the drink should be red, there should be a faint white ring in the middle, and the top will be green.

Salute!

Ceviche - the Mexican sashimi.

2008-09-25T02:01:00.000-07:00

I thought that I might post an entry that doesn't deal with Italian food for a change. Not that, this being the 5th post, I've posted a ton of Italian-inspired recipes, but we'll be getting there soon!

Ceviche, traditionally, is a mixture of seafood (typically with a meaty white fish) that is cooked not by heat, but by the acidity of lime juice. Sounds weird, doesn't it? Scary? But it's neither! It is absolutely delicious.

If you have time to hop in your car, drive 20 minutes to the Mexican joint that serves probably not authentic Mexican food but Americanized "Mexican" cuisine, then you have the time to gather the ingredients and prepare this dish that is so simple and delicious.

I first discovered the joy of ceviche when I was living down in southern California, where, besides Mexico, some of the best authentic Mexican cuisine can be had. It was a little place in Irwindale that my friend Mike took me to, and introduced me to this dish. It was served on a good-sized plate on top of a crispy tostada.

For those Taco Bell fans, a tostada isn't some conglomeration of cheap tortillas, canned 'refried' beans, meat that you wouldn't serve your dog, and this pseudo "salsa" crap. A tostada, a Spanish word meaning "toasted", is a flat corn tortilla that has typically been deep-fried, or oven-toasted, to create one big and round tortilla chip.

Anyway you will need the following utensils:

1 glass or plastic bowl - nothing metallic as this will react with the acids of the citrus juice
A good knife
Something to mix everything together (try to use a wooden spoon if you can)
A citrus juicer - handheld, machines are lame

Ingredients:

About a couple of pounds of firm white fish - I recommend Tilapia, Catfish, Red Snapper, or Cod
8 - 10 limes per pound of fish (it is essential you use fresh limes. Bottled lime juice just doesn't cut it - it also has a horrible flavor - very bittersweet).
1 big white onion (yellow isn't so great with ceviche, it imparts a flavor that I find offensive)
1-2 Serrano chili peppers, depending on how spicy you like your food. If you don't want any spice, you can leave these out, but a little heat is nice
2 medium-sized beefsteak or other large tomatoes. you can even use Heirloom tomatoes, they are tasty!
about 1/2 tablespoon of salt, more or less to taste
a good handful of fresh cilantro/coriander, roughly chopped

Note: You can also add in some shrimp - however they must be uniformly diced. If you feel like experimenting, throw in some finely-diced bell peppers, or minced garlic! Also you can experiment with various kinda of seafood, however oily fish does NOT work well with this dish. Octopus is lovely, as is squid.

With your fish, dice it into even pieces, about 1-inch in size. It's important that the fish is fairly uniform in dice, as if they are any larger the fish will not 'cook' evenly, and it will be pretty disgusting when you bite into raw fish in this dish.
Put the fish into your non-metallic bowl.
Now, with the limes... it's important that they are not totally freezing cold, because it will be harder to extract all the juice from them. A good trick is to stick them in the microwave for about 5 seconds, just enough to warm them up a bit, but never to a point of being lukewarm.

Cut each lime in half (remember, we're using 8 - 10 limes per pound of fish being used, so adjust accordingly).

Juice each lime-half into the bowl of the fish.

Mix well, and put the bowl of lime/fish into the refrigerator about about 1 1/2 -2 hours. You can check in on it intermittently and stir it, not a bad idea.

In the meantime, dice up your onion and tomatoes. Not into humongous chunks - Ceviche is best when all ingredients are pretty much the same size.
Also, dice the chili peppers if you are using them. Remember, the heat is in the seeds! So the less seeds you include, the less heat. I would recommend wearing a pear of latex gloves while handing the peppers; the seeds contain an irritant that if you rub your eyes, you will be crying like a baby.

After the fish mixture has been marinating for the 1 1/2 -2 hours, add in your tomatoes and onions, stir until evenly mixed, then add in the cilantro, chilies, and salt.
Mix again, then pop back in the refrigerator for about 30 more minutes.

You can eat this as-is, or serve over warmed corn tortillas, or oven-toasted or even fried corn tortillas. Sometimes I like to serve this over shredded lettuce as well and have it as a full salad.

Enjoy!

The Gimlet. Re-made.

2008-09-22T01:07:00.000-07:00

Vodka Gimlets. They are a passion and favorite of mine... and in the past couple of years, I'd re-created my own version of this classic lime-and-vodka drink.

Quick 'n simple, vodka drinkers beware:

You'll need your typical bar tools:

Shaker
Muddler
Rock-hard pint glass
Strainer

Ingredients you will need:

Lotsa ice
A beautifully ripe lime
Stolichnaya Vanilla Vodka (or the cheaper stuff if you like a good hangover)
Roses's Lime Juice
Soda Water (or .... 7-up/Sprite)
A Glass
Small amount of simple syrup (or not, if you're watching calories)

Start:

Pint glass. Throw in some slices of the lime you have there. Throw in a few chunks of ice. Take your muddler and pound the shit out of that.
Add more ice to the rim. Count 1-2-3-4 on the Vanilla Stoli. Add 1-second count of Roses' Lime. Add 1/2 second count of simple syrup.
Take your martini shaker, pop it over the pint glass. Shake shake shake.

Get a martini glass or just a freakin' glass, either fill it with ice for a on-the-rox drink, or leave it alone and naked.

Pop the strainer over your shaker, pour the mixture into the glass.

Fill to the top with soda water/Sprite/7-Up.

Inhale. Repeat until drunk.

Gnocchi. This time, al pomodoro, basilico, e frutti di mare

2008-09-21T22:41:00.000-07:00

Gnocchi.

I've had a love affair with these lovely little potato dumplings-slash-pasta for several years now. They are chewy and are amazing in a simple salsa di pomodoro.

If you want to be completely traditional and proper, you will make gnocchi di patate from scratch, which, really, is a very simple process.

I will detail this now.

Take about 1-2 pounds of potatoes. I've found that the best kinds of potatoes for gnocchi are the mealier ones, such as Russets. You can use reds, or yellows. Hell, even the fingerling potatoes might work just fine - however the creamier, starchier ones tend to be more glutinous and sticky, which you do not want for gnocchi.

Now, take your 1-2 pounds of potatoes (for EU/UK readers, this is roughly 1/2 kilo - 1 kilo // 450-900 grams). Get a large pot and put the potatoes, skins intact, in. Fill the pot with water and a good few dashes of salt (this isn't totally necessary, but in good measure, so do it if you don't have a heart condition or high blood pressure.)

Set the pot/potatoes over a high flame and let it come to a boil. If you leave it on high, it will boil over and leave a starchy mess on your stove, so as it begins to come to a rolling boil, turn the heat down to about a medium-to-medium-high.

There's no general time for these potatoes to cook. Basically, rule of thumb is to keep checking the cooking process of the potatoes with a fork; when they are done, they should not be mush, but to check them, stick a fork in the potatoes and they should be pierced easily and should not break apart.

I usually use medium-sized red potatoes. Red potatoes have a good balance of starchiness and waxiness, and won't be too mealy and not too waxy - which is perfect for our next step!

When your potatoes are done cooking and they still resemble potatoes with their skins on, drain them. You might want to let them cool for a while, because next, you will be peeling the skins off.
Note: The reason for cooking the potatoes with the skins on is because if you peel the potatoes before boiling, they will soak up water, and will make for water-logged potatoes. You do not want this!

After you have peeled your potatoes, get a potato ricer. Do not use a food mill, or food processor, as this will turn your potatoes into paste.

You will want to make sure that your potatoes are not watery - if they are too watery after ricing them, put them back into your pot for a minute and set over a low flame to evaporate the water. The potatoes should be fluffy.

After you have run the potatoes through the ricer, here's the fun part!

Dump the riced potatoes into a large mixing bowl. Add a small amount of salt (say, 1-2 teaspoons) , 1 beaten egg, and add in enough flour so you have a dough that is not sticky to your fingers, but it should not be too dense; it should be relatively light and fluffy. You do not want too much flour because your gnocchi will be awful after it cooks.

Let this dough rest for a while; 15-20 minutes.

Line a couple of baking/cookie sheets with waxed paper.

Coat your hands in flour, cut off a piece of the dough, and roll it in your hands, into a long cylindrical shape, about the thickness of your index finger. Cut this 'rope' into about 1" (one inch, or 2 1/2 cm) .

Repeat with the rest of your potato-flour mixture.

If you run out of room, just place these on your lined cookie sheets.

Next, is to make the proper shape of the gnocchi, which will distinguish this apart from little potato round things which we cannot call gnocchi.

You have a fork ? Good! Because you will need a fork. This next bit takes a bit of practice to perfect, but if you know gnocchi and you love gnocchi you will have a gnocchi shaping epiphany when you shape the perfect one!

With each 1" long piece, holding your fork in your right hand (if you are right-handed! as I am, I would assume that if you are left-handed, you will want to do the opposite), roll your piece of dough along the fork. You should have a piece of gnocchi that looks like this:

The epitome of gnocchi!

Right there. It's a strange-looking thing, but once cooked, simple sauce added, you are in for heaven.

Now, you have a couple of options. You can place the gnocchi on the cookie sheets and either freeze or refrigerate them, then once frozen or chilled enough, store them in a zip lock bag.

But I think you will want to cook these and consumi!

Note, again: When cooking gnocchi, you want to cook these immediately before consuming. Since the cooking time is so brief, you don't want them to sit while you make a simple sauce.

Hence... Here is the absolutely tasty and easy sauce I made tonight to dress my gnocchi di patate:

You will need:

Extra-virgin olive oil
1 can (16 oz. or so) of whole or diced peeled tomatoes, without salt, with juice
1 good handful of fresh basil
1/2 white onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, smashed and roughly chopped
freshly ground black pepper
sea salt
capers, packed in brine
about 1 cup of roughly chopped zucchini (optional!)
about 1 cup of a mixture of seafood; can be scallops, gamberi (prawns/shrimp), calamari (squid rings), crab, octopus (which is lovely!) (this is optional as well; for a vegetarian version, omit)

--

Get out a nice skillet. Take some olive oil and coat the pan - I'd say 1 tablespoon is more than enough! Heat the pan over high until the oil is "liquidy" (where, when you tip the skillet, the oil flows easily like water). Reduce the heat to about medium-high - add your onions, garlic, a good sprinkle of pepper, and a good few dashes of the sea salt (do NOT use regular salt, it is shit, go buy some sea-salt you cheapo!).

The onions and garlic should sizzle and stir them a bit for a couple of minute. Add your zucchini, and saute' some more for about 2 more minutes. Nothing should be getting black... It should brown bit.
Now take your tomatoes (you can send the tomatoes through a sieve if you want to extract the seeds, I rather enjoy the seeds), and add them to the pan of onions, garlic, zucchini, salt, and pepper. At this point, you can toss in a couple of basil leaves, roughly torn (but do NOT add all the basil now, it will lose it's flavor).

(If you are making this sauce to put over your gnocchi, now is the time to bring a large pot of water to boil.)

Bring to a soft boil, cover the pan, and turn to a simmer. Let this simmer for about 10 minutes. Some of the tomato juice should evaporate so it's not a watery mess.

Add your seafood mixture, if using. Stir the sauce a bit after adding, and bring to a short boil again, then reduce the heat to simmer.

The seafood should not take too long of a time to cook.

While this is simmering, get your gnocchi and put into the pan of boiling water. I used about 2 cups of gnocchi. You can use a bit more or a bit less depending on how "sauced" you want your sauce+gnocchi.

Turn off the heat on your sauce. Add the rest of the basil and about 1 tablespoon full of the capers (drained) , which you should tear up and add to the sauce; mix once.
Cover the pan, and leave it be.

When the pot of gnocchi comes to a boil, watch carefully. General rule of thumb, when the gnocchi float to the top, they are done. They take 2-3 minutes top to fully cook. Any much more, you will have a potato-flour mush that is absolutely revolting and you should throw it away.

As soon as the gnocchi is finished, drain immediately. Put the gnocchi into the pan with the sauce, stir until well mixed, and serve.

And there you go. A simple, seriously tasty and healthy meal. Enjoy.

What to do when you've found yourself with a whole fish.

2008-09-19T04:03:00.002-07:00

Somehow you bought a whole fish; not gutted, not filleted, just whole. But dead.

Here's what to do with a non-oily fish (no mackeral, no salmon, blah blah blah):

1 whole tilapia (or white-fleshed fish such as flounder, cod, tilapia)(this one was about 1.5 lbs)
pepper
salt
flour
high quality olive oil, preferably extra virgin (or as we connoisseurs call it "EVOO")
fresh lemons
butter

Make sure the fish is gutted and everything, because fish guts taste no good. And yuck.
Okay, so , chop off the head. With a butcher knife. Just chop the whole fucking head off and look into it's eyes staring back at you blankly. Stare for a minute or so.
Okay, with the staring contest officially over:

After the head is off, clean the fish, get all the blood and brains and whatever is left over of the stump where the head was.

Take a plastic bag and put in about 1/2 cup of flour, some salt, some pepper, to taste, whatever. I don't measure ever

Meanwhile take a nice skillet and heat up about 1/4 cup of olive oil and some butter. Like I said, I don't measure, so whatever it appealing to the eye.

Don't put it on super hot - butter burns - but the olive oil will keep the butter from burning (that is not good!), so have it maybe on medium to med-high.

Take the ENTIRE fish and throw it into the bag of flour-mixture. shake it around real good. if there is someone near you that you don't like, whack 'em in the head with the fish. It's good fun.

So now that the fish is all covered in flour (make sure it gets in every crevice and stuff), throw the fucker in the pan with the oil and butter.

Fry it on each side for like 5 minutes or something. Maybe 8. Whatever - get it nice and brown on both sides.

Then when it's brown and stuff, take the lemon and cut it in half and squeeze the hell out of each piece of lemon to get all the juice out of it into the pan with the fish. Make sure it gets on both sides. So, then, turn the fish over and stuff.

Turn the heat up really high for a minute so the lemon juice evaporates a bit.

Put a lid on that thing. Set your heat to low (SIMMER!) and let it do it's thing for about 5-8 minutes.
You do NOT want to overcook.

When the fish is all cooked*.... EAT IT.

There will be bones so don't eat those.

*By cooked, I do not mean one solid rock-hard dead fish. It should flake easily but not be dry. If it's dry you overcooked and you must go buy another whole fish and re-gut.

The Drink I Call the Perfect Purgatory

2008-09-19T04:03:00.001-07:00

While tending bar tonight, I concocted a new type of "martini" - i.e. the fancy pseudo-rich-bitch drinks that are all the rage these days in the U.S.of.A. It's a gin-based drink, therefore gin-haters beware. However, one customer who stated with conviction that they absolutely hate gin took a liking to this, so we'll see how it goes.

I kind of wanted to merge the mint flavors of a Mojito with a ...well, a gin "pine-needles" bite.

For reference, a Mojito is a lovely cocktail make with muddled limes, loads of mint, white rum cane sugar, and a splash of soda (what we call here in the states "Sprite" or "7-Up" but you can use plain old soda water).

Utensils you'll need:

1 (one) martini shaker
Lots of ice (couple of scoops, or enough to fill the shaker)
A thick, solid pint glass that can take a beating and muddling and shaking and more abuse
A strainer
A mudder

For the actual interesting part, and consumable part of this Pugateous drink (I just made up that word, feel free to punch me) you will need (for one person)

1 (one) lime
GOOD gin - say, Tanqueray or Beefeater - i.e. London Dry gin
Cherry liqueur (such as DeKuyper Cheri Beri Pucker)
Grapefruit juice, preferably fresh-squeezed (go buy a damn grapefruit - anything from concentrate is utter crap)
A good big sprig of fresh MINT... plus another sprig for garnish if you want to get all fancy.

In order to make this great refreshing beverage for Adults:

Take your lime (maybe it's organic! go you!) and cut it into good-sized half-moon slices. Get rid of the ends; you don't want those.
Next, put a few (as in 3 to 4) of those slices in the bottom of your abuse-worthy-willing-and-waiting GLASS pint glass.
Take the mint. Tear it up a bit, and throw that green lovely stuff on top of the lime.
Drop on top of that about 5 chunks of ice.
Take your muddler, and beat the crap out of the ice and lime and mint, until it's all pulp and juice and mint shreds and ice chunks. This is the fun part.
Take the rest of the ice, and fill up your glass with it.
Grab the gin, pop off the lid (or if you are really into this, you'll have a bottle pourer on it), turn it upside-down over the glass of ice and crushed mint and lime-death, and count ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
This should fill up the glass nicely to about 1/3 of the way up.

Take the cherry liqueur. Turn this bottle upside down over the glass of gin-lime-ice. Count ONE! TW--! And STOP. You do NOT need much. But not too little.

Then... grapefruit. Yes, I know. Grapefruit. Sounds kind nasty, but it makes the drink. Fill up the rest of your glass to about 1" from the top with grapefruit juice.

Grab your shaker. Pop it on top of the glass (they should meld together nicely!) And shake-ah-shake-ah-shake-ah-shake-ah x 10 or so. The metal shaker should be freezing cold, and your hands will burn. This is perfect.

Now here is the tricky part. You have to get the pint glass and the metal shaker apart from each other. But oh no, they don't want to be apart. However, it must be.

There is a trick.

Lightly tap the shaker and glass, right where they meet, on the edge of a countertop or table or something with an edge (your head if you're lucky). They should pop apart.

Pour your drink into the metal shaker, take the strainer, pop that on top of the shaker, and pour this into a martini glass.
Or cup.
Or plastic cup.
Whatever is usable for drinking.

You should have a drink that is slightly pinkish-red with not too much mint floating about. Some lime seeds are okay, just don't chew them.

Garnish with mint spring... and sip it slowly.